Look Inside
All-in-One Marriage Prep:
75 Experts Share Tips and Wisdom to Help You Get Ready Now
Introduction
Welcome to This Marriage Preparation Journey! ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Foreword
The Value of Relationship and Marriage Education ~ Julie M. Baumgardner
Chapter 1: Preparing As a Couple
You Have Chosen—Now Prepare! ~ Greg Hunt and Priscilla Hunt
How to Recognize Your Soulmate ~ Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D., and James Elliott, Ph.D.
Prepared Marriages Are a Better Option ~ Krsnanandini Devi Dasi and Tariq Saleem Ziyad
Marriage Preparation Essentials ~ Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom
Making Marriage Work Twogether ~ Yolanda “Yanni” Brown
Having a Healthy Couple Relationship ~ Ana Morante
The Value of Mentor Couples ~ Robert A. Ruhnke, D.Min.
Marriage Advice for Premarital Couples ~ Matthew Turvey, Psy.D.
Exercises to Help You Prepare for Marriage ~ Sue Atkins
Preparing Teens for Marriage ~ Ana Morante
Chapter 2: Pacing and Timing Togetherness
Pace It ~ Emily Luschin
The Law of Relationship Order ~ Krsnanandini Devi Dasi and Tariq Saleem Ziyad
Marrying Young ~ Mark Gungor
Later-Life Love ~ Greg Hunt with Priscilla Hunt
Marrying Successfully Later in Life ~ Mark Gungor
Chapter 3: Preparing As Individuals
Creating an Intimate, Loving Relationship ~ Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The Value of Self-Responsibility ~ Molly Barrow, Ph.D.
Do You Have a Tail? ~ John Buri, Ph.D.
Are We Mature Enough for Marriage? ~ Paul Coleman, Psy.D.
The Buffalo Wing Principle ~ Amy Spencer
How to Marry a Winner ~ Krsnanandini Devi Dasi
Preventing the Past from Derailing Your Future Marriage ~ Beverly Rodgers, Ph.D., and Tom Rodgers, Ph.D.
Chapter 4: Adjusting Expectations
The Art of Asking Questions ~ Susanne M. Alexander, Stanis Marusak Beck, and Michael J. Beck, Ph.D.
Before You Walk Down the Aisle ~ Julie M. Baumgardner
Are Relationships Hard Work? ~ Don Ferguson, Ph.D.
Expectations vs. Intentions ~ Greg Hunt and Priscilla Hunt
Chapter 5: Deepening Friendship
Compatibility and Friendship ~ John Van Epp, Ph.D.
The Key to a Successful Courtship and Marriage? Ask a Dolphin! ~ Paul Coleman, Psy.D.
What Is a Friend? ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Friendship—The Foundation Stone for Marriage ~ Lidy Seysener
Have Friends of Your Marriage ~ Nisa Muhammad
Chapter 6: Knowing One Another
Honest Dating and Courting ~ Mark Gungor
How Do I Look? ~ Molly Barrow, Ph.D.
Character and Marriage ~ Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom
Choosing a Partner Who Is Right for You ~ Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Know Each Other’s Character Before Marrying ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Bejeweled: Gemstones to Consider Before the Rock Goes on the Finger ~Barbara Jenkins Spires
Dating Can Help You Prepare for Your Future ~ Claudia Arp and David Arp
Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind ~ John Van Epp, Ph.D.
How Well Do You Get Along with Others? ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Character in Action ~ Jim Hughes
Chapter 7: Appreciating Diversity
Exploring the Spiritual Side of Marriage ~ Fiona McDonald
Marriage Readiness in the Jewish Tradition ~ Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Two Shall Become One ~ Nisa Muhammad
Marriage Rituals in the Jewish Tradition ~ Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
Finding Your Good Thing and Being the Good Thing ~ ClarenceWalker, Ph.D. and Ja’OlaWalker,D.D.
The Adventure of Being a Cross-Cultural Couple ~ Dugan Romano
Exploring Culture, Ethnicity, and Race ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Creating Unity Through Your Courtship and Marriage ~ Raymond Switzer
Intercultural Maturity ~ Grete Shelling
Strengthening Latino Relationships and Marriages ~ Ana Morante
A Challenge to Be More Responsible ~ Nisa Muhammad and Jamil Muhammad
Chapter 8: Understanding Sex
Using the Power of Your Infatuation for Good ~ Dave Carder
Choosing to Wait for Sex Until Marriage ~ Mark Gungor
Start Your Marriage with Passion and Skills ~ Anne Bercht
What’s the Big Deal About Sex, Anyway? ~ Susanne M. Alexander
The Challenges of Sexual Addiction on Relationships ~ Mark Laaser, Ph.D.
Chapter 9: Concerning Cohabiting
Cohabitation Mergers ~ John Curtis, Ph.D.
Cohabitation: Good Idea, or a Marriage Killer? ~ Mike McManus
Cohabitation and Commitment ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Take Time to Take Space! ~ Robert Buchicchio
Chapter 10: Growing In Love
Setting a Foundation of Loving for Your Future Marriage ~ Gary Chapman, Ph.D.
Beneath the Masquerades of Love ~ John Buri, Ph.D.
Assessing Your Relationship Capacity ~ Molly Barrow, Ph.D.
The Journey of Love and Marriage: Know the Stages and Set Your Priorities ~ Rita DeMaria, Ph.D.
Real Love Defined ~ Sheryl Paul
Create Lasting Love by Experiencing Your Experience ~ David Steele
Chapter 11: Communicating Effectively
The Nice-to-Nasty Ratio ~ John Buri, Ph.D.
Strengthening Your Couple Communication Skills ~ Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
Communicating About What Doesn’t Work and What Does ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Learn How to Disagree As If the Windows Were Open ~ Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D.
Does One of Us Have a Problem with Anger? ~ Michael J. Beck, Ph.D.
Consultative Couple Decision Making ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Chapter 12: Building Relationship Strengths
Wedded Bliss Can Be Yours ~ Nisa Muhammad
The Values and Rituals of Authentic Relationships: What the Relationship
Enhancement Model Teaches Us About Marriage ~ Robert F. Scuka, Ph.D.
Creating a Goodwill Partnership ~ Susan Page
Meeting Your Relationship Needs ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Identifying and Addressing Unmet Childhood Needs ~ Paul Coleman, Psy.D.
Soulmate Skills for a Blissful Marriage ~ Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D., and James Elliott, Ph.D.
The Skill of Connecting ~ Ana Morante
Essential Tools for Keeping Your Relationship in Good Repair ~ Stanis Beck
Mentoring a Couple Toward Praying Together ~ Bill and Cynthia Sarles
Chapter 13: Creating a Partnership
Let’s Face It: Men &Women Communicate Differently ~ Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D.
In Pursuit of a Mate ~ Raymond Switzer
Creating a Flexible Team Marriage ~ Patty Howell, Ed.M.
Gender Equality in Marriage ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Six Keys to an Outrageously Happy Marriage ~ Joel Davisson and Kathy Davisson
Do You Respect One Another? ~ Scott Haltzman, M.D.
Chapter 14: Interacting with Family
Your Relationship with Your Parents ~ Molly Barrow, Ph.D.
Check Out the Family ~ John Van Epp, Ph.D.
“If Our Parents Divorced, Can Our Marriage Succeed?”: Striving for Unity
in an Era of High Family Fragmentation ~ Elizabeth Marquardt
Unity Supports Family Happiness ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Chapter 15: Forming a Stepfamily
Coping with Stepfamily Stress and Creating a Thriving Stepfamily ~ Nancy Landrum
The Stepfamily Journey: Not for Wimps ~ Elizabeth Einstein
Parenting Challenges in Stepfamilies ~ Nancy Landrum
A Stepfamily Success Story ~ Nancy Landrum
Preparing for Stepfamily Life ~ Ana Morante
Chapter 16: Becoming Parents and Rearing Children
Why Now Is the Best Time to Talk About Parenting ~ Rodney Grubbs and Karen Grubbs
Should We Have Children? ~ Sue Atkins
Find and Discuss Your Hidden Parenting Beliefs ~ Sandra Dye
Chapter 17: Handling Money
Managing Your Money ~ Jim Hughes
Love, Honor, and Pay for Stuff (or Why I Wanted to Marry an Investment Banker) ~ Kerri Pomarolli
Ten Tips for Talking to Your Honey About Money ~ Syble Solomon
With Money, What’s Really Going On? ~ Syble Solomon
Chapter 18: Responding to Difficulties
Prepare for “Mile Eighteen” in Your Future Marriage ~ Amy Spencer
Can You Handle Difficulties Together? ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Is Alcohol a Possible Problem in Our Relationship? ~ Michael J. Beck, Ph.D.
Relationship Recovery—Path to the Promised Land ~
Kat Knecht and Curtis Knecht
Violence in Relationships ~ Ana Morante
Chapter 19: Planning for Marriage
Creating a Vision for Your Marriage ~ John Curtis, Ph.D.
Creating Your Marriage Commitments ~ Susanne M. Alexander
Premarital Assessment: The Importance of Taking an Inventory ~ Peter J. Larson, Ph.D.
Focused Case Study: PREPARE-ENRICH’s Development of Premarital Assessments ~ Peter J. Larson, Ph.D.
Chapter 20: Planning the Wedding
Handling the Feelings About Transitioning to Marriage ~ Sheryl Paul
Creating Your Own Wedding Vows ~ Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom
Ensuring Wedding Night Bliss ~ James E. Sheridan
A Prayer for Us ~ Raphaella Vaisseau
Blessed Joining ~ Susanne M. Alexander
A Note in Closing
Acknowledgements
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